weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
