I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
