so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You are the jesus of drinking
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
