Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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