so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
