how hairy? two words: wookie tits
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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