Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
