I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
