I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
