That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
