His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
