THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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