your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
