at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
