mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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