Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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