Duck Duck Cougar?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am available for nakedness
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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