just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
