I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
