I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
