So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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