Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
