I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
this boner is exhausting
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
