3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
