In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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