Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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