it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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