I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
