Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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