At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
