Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
