the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
