I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i think my cat just said my name.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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