I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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