I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
