you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
