Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
