i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
