Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
