I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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