my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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