I CAN MOONWALK!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
