some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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