If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
