I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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