oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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