its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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