Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
