sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
