So drunk, too bad you don't want this
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
