woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
