Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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