you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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