this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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